Why do people think that they are really that great?

Recently I was real irritated by 2 persons particularly. I was also much amazed by the pride of these 2 people. I do not know why anyone would really think that they are really that good or great. They are totally insensitive, and rude.

I mean, why isn’t people at all humbled by the fragility of human life? We saw the devasting impacts of natural disasters on TV almost daily, we witnessed the passing on of some people around us and yet we act as if we can conquer the world or we are the world. Who are we actually? In fact, without God, we are nothing. We are just flesh and blood with a spirit.

I looked at them, both of them. Their ego are larger than life itself and they think they can live as who they are throughout eternity. Sadly, they will come to realise without a soul, they are really just nothing. If adversity strike them now, will they realise that better?

I see them as nothing and they see themselves as someone great. How irony is life?

Am I still kind? Bear or Rain?

Sorry, I cannot share anything about the insights from George Soros because I still cannot get past the dryness of chapter 1. As for the trashy novel I finished , nothing to share, because by it’s nature, it is trashy.

Yet today I stumbled upon a gem – Chuck Klosterman IV. His articles and writings are controversial and I like it.

Here is a scenario in his book and I would like to post a question to you:

“Think of someone who is your friend (do not select your best friend, but make sure is someone you would classify as considerably more than an acquaintance).

The friend is going to be attacked by a grizzly bear.

Now this person will survive this bear attack; that is guaranteed. There is a 100% chance that your friend will live. However, the extent of his injuries is unknown; he might receive nothing but a few scratches, but he also might lose a limb (or multiple limbs). He might recover completely in 24 hours with nothing but a great story, or he might spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Somehow you have the ability to stop this attack from happening. You can magically save your friend from the bear. But his or her salvation will come at a peculiar price: if you choose to stop the bear, it will always rain. Sometimes it will pour and sometimes it will drizzle – but it will never stop raining. But it won’t rain over the totality of the earth, nor will the hydrological cycle be disrupted; these storm clouds will be isolated, and they will focus entirely on your specific whereabouts. You will never see the sun again.

Do you stop the bear and accept a lifetime of rain?

I have been in the social sector for a while. I thought I am kind. At least all my exs think I am a kind person…:p and I think I take pride in my own perceived kindness.

Yet when I gave a serious thought to the above, I found that I am not willing to stop the bear. A lifetime of rain! No more outdoor games nor activity. I hate the fact that I can never see the sun again though I apply tons of sunblock to block the ‘U whatever’ ray. No one will like to be near me because rain goes wherever I go. I am willing to take the chance on the bear than the rain. So, am I still kind?

What will you do?

Justice to George Soros – Part 1

We all heard of the name of George Soros.  My mental picture of him was painted by hearsay from Dr Mahathir who regarded him as the ‘Devil’ that brought about the Asian Economic Crisis. Well, currently I am reading his (George Soros) book ‘The Age of Fallibility’ and came to realise the ignorance I embraced. To be honest, his writing is dry unlike Shakespeare, and getting through first chapter is a real challenge. Yet the revelation of him, of the world economy from the first chapter is enough to put me to shame for thinking badly of him simply because someone talked bad about him.

Before I come back with more insights, let’s all of us be reminded not to time and time again fall into the trap of prejudgement simply because someone says so. After all, they says “Our mind is like a parachute. It is only useful when it is open.”

By the way, the insights from the book will be slow coming as I am reading one of those ‘trashy’ novels that feeds the EQ and soul first. We need both (IQ and EQ) to be a better person, don’t we?

Good To Great – Jim Collins

Finally laid my hands on the book ‘Good to Great’ by Jim Collins.

Number 1 seller with over 2 millions copies sold. A good book indeed. The knowledge shared in the book is not new yet remains profound. I guessed the fact the knowledge is backed by years of scientific research and study make the sharing of it profound.

One of the few points that makes a good company becomes a great company is on human resource management. It was mentioned in the book “The only way to deliver to the people who are achieving is not to burden them with people who are not achieving.” The principle makes sense. Yet in reality it is seldom being practice.

In fact there is a Chinese saying that advocates the opposite of the above principle and hearing it always makes me cringe. ‘Ren Zhe Duo Lao’ ~ ‘The capable shall do more’. The more capable subordinates are asked to take on more tasks, some even taking over the tasks of the less capable simply because the manager is too weak to ask the weaker subordinate to either buck up or go off. Helping another colleague while she/he needs help during period of needs is different from doing his or her job because he/she can never be up to it. Managers are fond of hiding behind the notion of ‘teamwork’ when in fact the manager is too weak to exercise authority. After all, who wants to be the bad guy?

The sweetness of buttock rub

Butttock rub is an act of love.

My husband rides a bike. After a downpour, the seats will be wet. I remembered 3.5 years ago when we went on our first few dates, it was during the rainy season.  Although the skies cleared after the rain and we could ride home, the seats were already wet. During that few times, he would used his hands to wipe away the water collected on the seats and instinctively sat on my seat. I asked him what he was doing, he said he was using his own jeans/pants (buttock’s portion) to absorb the moisture.  ”This is to ensure your seat is dry”.

Tell me how not to fall in love with this gentleman and eventually marry him.

Yesterday night after dinner at Parkway Parade, as we approached the open air carpark, we realised it was after a hevay downpour. The seats were wet. At the back of my mind, I was thinking, will he still do the ‘buttock rub’? Was the act only a priviledge during dating? That what some women get after years of marriage. Well, we heard horror stories of such nature often, don’t we?

While I was preparing for my horror story to unfold before my eyes, the next thing I know, he wiped the water off the seats, do the usual buttock rub at the seat and said “Dear, let’s go!”.

I got on the bike and smiled to myself all the way back home. I was overwhelmed by the sweetness of the buttock rub.

Surviving in wilderness

Today, I have decided to put my thoughts down on an observation.

I think, Vin- my hubby can survive in wilderness. In Straits Times today, it featured people that survived without food and water for several days, fought against nature and get themselves rescued be it from the ocean, jungle or beneath a collapsed coal mine.

I noticed that on weekends or holidays when we spent the whole day at home, if I did not bring water or food to Vin in the study room, he would not come out of the room for it. He would be so engrossed with his toys, his blog that he could forget he need to drink or eat. Afraid that he would be dehydrated, I find myself bringing him water every 2 hours. Amazing. Yet at the same time, I am confident that he could survived 3 days without water, 7 days without food. And I do not need the wilderness to prove it, my study room is good enough.

Beautiful Scenery and my mother…

I was down for the past few days. Stomach flu. Amazingly, I survived 3 days with only a few mouthful of food and a little more water.

So, when you are weak and yet you do not want to keep sleeping, that will leave you with nothing much to do, except staring out of the window and watching people. That is what is happening to me now.

As I did that, the world unfolds itself. I saw a maid carried a cupboard on her shoulder down the stairs of the worker’s dormitory opposite my flat I wondered where she found her strength especially if she is fasting now.

I stared at the hydrotherapy pool inside the special school. It was therapeutic. Do not ask me why that was so.

Then I realised that within the special school, there are 2 pong pong trees and one small pathetic coconut tree and 2 angsana trees and they exist within the same compound.

On the pavement, I saw mothers fetching their children back. The mothers hold the hands of the young ones. In my memories, I only have one scene of my mother fetching me home from school. Either she only fetched me home once or I have forgotten the rest. But I remembered I went home alone most of the time.

Two days back, I was real sick, running high fever. Maid suggested to her to postpone her acupuncture session and not to leave me alone at home since I cannot even get up and get water for myself. My dear mother decided to proceed and leave me at home. Was I surprise? No, I am not. Was I hurt? You bet I am. Since young, she did that numerous times. There is a Chinese saying “The tiger will never eat it’s own young”. Well, the Chinese is wrong. Disappointments there are plentiful, ill feelings not at all. Repetition has it’s magic of numbing anger.

Despite disappointments, the scenery outside are beautiful. Hopefully, the beauty is not a contrast to the ugliness of human kind.

Two is better than One… …

This is not a MCYS advertisement but trust me to say that ”Two is better than One”. Our dear Sumiko at Sunday Times talked about the goodness of being in a relationship. There is a phrase that she used: ”24 hours best friend”. When I read that article yesterday, I cannot help but turned around to my dear hubby besides me and kissed him.

Marriage is fun, mostly because you have your best friend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We all have this need to share our joy and sorrow with someone and a partner will fulfil that need. In my opinion, friends, no matter how close they are will never able to fully fulfil that need.

I, for one, is someone that never deny my need for a partner. I do not like to eat alone. I know doctors tell us that if we eat and talk at the same time, we take in too much air and that will cause indigestion. Yet I like the fact that there is someone that I can talk to, complain to when I am eating. I hate watching movie alone, do not like coming back to a empty house and I do not even like to laze around alone. Even when I am still single at age 32 back then, I never pretend that I prefer being single, being unmarried. 

Marriage allows me to wake up in the morning with my best friend besides me. I like the fact that there is someone to cover me with blanket when the weather gets cold in the night. I enjoy the conforting thought that if I have a nighmare, I can awake to that someone that can comfort me almost immediately. Besides taking, you get to give. U get a chance to nag when he takes ages to just walk to the bathroom and bathe. U will be amuse at how they can be totally oblivious to the mess on the table and continue with the computer games. U get to clean his ears and remove wax that have been there for years if not for your sacrificial act of cleaning. U even get to repeat this phrase, “Dinner is ready!” at least 7 times before he move his butt from the computer chair to the dinner table.

In conclusion, marriage is so far so good. Two is definitely better than One. Then again, there is always 2 sides of the coin, the good and bad, all in your 24 hour best friend.

Made to stick

Last evening, I finally finished reading the book “Made to Stick”.

Certain explanations finally allowed me to understand a phenomena that we witnessed in our very own political scene. Do you ever wonder why despite the many carrots that the PAP govt dished out during GE, Potong Pasir and Hougang remain die-hard fans of Mr Chiam and Mr Low?

As with any typical Singaporean, before I continue, may I clarify that I am not making any political stand here. Not that I do not have one just that now, here, is not a platform to make that stand.

The book highlighted that sometimes, against conventional wisdom, self interest isn’t the whole story when comes to political views. Principles such as equality, ideas about government, human rights may matter to us more is even when they violate our immediate interest (such as million dollar upgrading etc). Just like we may dislike hearing the views of some fringe political group but support its right to speak because we treasure free speech. Perhaps when comes to political opinions, group interest may be a better predictor. Our very own decision making may not always based on calculating consequences, assessing value, weighing alternatives etc. Sometimes, our decision making are based norms and principles. Ability to make decision, make a choice is pride of human kind. It sets us apart from animals.

At the end of the day, nobody like to feel that their pride can be exchanged by a covered walkway.

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